Ragequit: Quit Bitching, It's in Beta

Wednesday, 23 November 2011

I was sitting at my computer doing some cool stuff with programs, you know, legit ones, that I bought and stuff, when GN-Lell messages me: "Hey System, we should go do some SW:TOR beta!" Knowing that this would be a great chance to see what the game looks like, I agree and fire up the game. There we are on the large test server wreaking havoc on those who are foolish enough to stand before our combined might, when all of the sudden I read the chat message: "god this game is buggy. you would think they would wait to release the beta until they had a lot of these bugs worked out." [sic, sic, sic, sic] I figure that it must be one of those guys who sucks at the game and is trying to make an excuse for why he is doing poorly... until, a few minutes later, another one pops up in my chat box: "I hope the full version is better."

swtor-bobaMy backpack's got jets, I'm Boba the Fett.

Duke Nukem Forever Review

in Games
Thursday, 30 June 2011

14 years ago, Duke Nukem Forever was announced to the world. Over the next few years, 2D Realms would tease its faithful fans by releasing screenshots, trailers, and other information on the game. I am happy to announce that hell has finally frozen over, cracked, thawed, and frozen over again. Strap on your skis ladies and gentlemen; let’s rock!

So I’m sitting at home listening to music and cruising Caps Lock when I get an xfire from Lelldorianx: "You should write another ragequit column." About what, I ask him.  "System," he says to me, "you need to write a column on what real gamers are." I know that there is an amazing story behind this, so I brace myself for the lulz that are about to ensue. He tells me that there are people at his school who masquerade as gamers. "How does a person masquerade as a gamer?" I ask him, and he tells me that these people play Facebook 'games,' then dub themselves gamers. Thanks to our previously-written 'what it means to be a gamer' column, calling these… things games is a mortal sin. They are just as much “games” as Flash videos are a “cinematic experience.” First the uneducated tween bastards steal our holy scripture (leet speek) from us and call it textese or text speak, and now they think playing that horrible crap gives them the right to call themselves gamers? To hell with these charlatans I say, may they burn in a righteous fire for such heresy.


Ragequit: Why Gamers Swear

Monday, 19 July 2010

We swear constantly. When you’re in a server full of belligerent scrubs, you can’t just tell them to “stop right now, otherwise I’ll trace your IP (which you won’t) and kick your ass" (which might be 6’15” and bench a VW). It doesn’t work like that here – this is the Internet, a place where men are kids the age of twelve, women are “women”, and anyone seeding a torrent or claiming to be under eighteen is an FBI agent. It’s a different world here; the inability to act accordingly results in paramount grief. So what do you do?

Successor to smash-hit Operation Flashpoint, the sequel (dubbed Dragon Rising) will be rising on Steam's top-sellers list this weekend. You will be able to find it for 75% off from now until Monday. Dragon Rising is produced by Codemasters and follows up on the original Operation Flashpoint, published in 2001. The original game was credited as being one of the most realistic shooters of its time. If you want to see the game before shelling out the $7.50 bones for it, you can always nab a demo from Steam.


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